Friday, 24 June 2011

Dear Courtney Love



Dear Courtney Love,

Hole did California so well on Celebrity Skin. This is where you hit your peak. This was the album that the Bangles would have made had they progressed through the grunge period. It’s the sound of angst against a backdrop of flaming palm trees and drunken sunshine. Why, oh why, did you ever decide to go solo? (or should that be so low?) Listen to the title track and understand the hypocrisy. You became that silicone clone of demonology, a tragic  victim of your own observations. 

American Sweetheart was the bilious aftertaste from the violent vomit of Pink and Christina Aguillera’s “rock” offerings. Why didn’t you stick to what you were good at instead of trying to compete with those whose tits were still pert? You should have looked ahead at your contemporaries like Patti Smith, Madonna even or Stevie Nicks, who incidentally has just released an amazing album, In Your Dreams, that only goes to demonstrate what could have become of you.

Nobody’s Daughter (poor you!), your most recent solo effort presented in the guise of a Hole album in a desperate attempt to bring in cash from the old-schoolers, is equally as pathetic as your last. 'Skinny Little Bitch', what’s that all about? It sounds like a soulless, bitter rant from a decaying older woman whose surgery can’t keep up with the ticking of the clock.

Save your career Courtney, listen to Celebrity Skin again, live and breathe California, this is what you're good at. Stop name-dropping, we all know you’re friends with Pamela Anderson and Carrie Fisher and we all know who’s been betwixt those thighs. Leave your face alone while you’re at it. It’s called aging and it happens to us all. Stop now and you will salvage the remains of your hot mess, continue and you will be an indecipherable mess and nobody wants another Bride of Wildenstein.

I'm only saying this because I used to love you and I want to again.

UPDATE: I don't love you any more after discovering you follow Cheryl Cole on Twitter!




1 comment:

  1. I've just listened to you on BBC6 and decided to check out your site... I don't doubt that this article is intended to be humorous, but it just comes across as scathing misogyny, which is really depressing. I get that you're not into Courtney's later stuff, but saying things like "Why didn’t you stick to what you were good at instead of trying to compete with those whose tits were still pert?" is reducing her music and artistic output to her appearance. You continue to describe her as sounding "like a soulless, bitter rant from a decaying older woman whose surgery can’t keep up with the ticking of the clock", before then contradicting yourself by telling her to "leave your face alone while you’re at it. It’s called aging and it happens to us all". WTF? You've just desecrated her appearance and then told her to get over it. This is something that women are constantly subjected to in a way that men simply aren't and it's bullshit. It's something that, culturally, you should be aware of and something you should be acknowledging and challenging, instead of taking easy shots. Think on, boyo.

    ReplyDelete